An American in Paris
The old American, somewhat distracted, when he arrived at French customs in the Paris airport, fumbled when getting his passport out for inspection. "You have been to France before Monsieur?", the customs officer asked sarcastically. The ancient Yank admitted that he had been to France before. "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready for inspection," snapped the irate official. The American said that the last time he came to France he did not have to show his passport. "Impossible, old man. You Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France." The old American gave the Frenchman a long hard look. "I assure you, young man, that when I came ashore on Omaha Beach in Normandy on D-Day in 1944, there wasn't a darn Frenchman on the beach!"
Would you like to know everything?
A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle; a group of geese in the air is a skein.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
A snail can sleep for three years.
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20."
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.
Did you know that crocodiles never outgrow the pool in which they live?
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10 .
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
Mr. Rogers was an ordained minister.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
Pinocchio is Italian for "pine eye."
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
Shakespeare invented the words 'assassination' and 'bump.'
The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
The Bible does not say there were three wise men; it only says there were three gifts.
The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "It's a Wonderful Life."
The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
The longest one-syllable word in the English language is screeched.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
The only 15-letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is "uncopyrightable".
The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous":
tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
There is a word in the English language with only one vowel, which occurs five times: "indivisibility."
There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
Two-thirds of the world's eggplants are grown in New Jersey
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.
Now you know everything!
A play on words
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her name plate that her name is Patricia Wack. "Miss Wack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday." She looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"The bank manager looks back at her and says..."It's a knickknack, Patty Wack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."