As advertised on TV.
(Mimicking the drug companies success)

Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila.
Tequila is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Tequila can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.
You will notice the benefits of Tequila almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, (well shyness anyway) and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.
Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila.
Tequila may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.
Tequila. Leave Shyness Behind.

Why is it?

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
7. Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game"when we are already there?
10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
14.Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you  know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
27. Why do we at Christmas sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

Republican joke

Hillary Clinton and her limo driver were cruising along a country road one evening when an old cow loomed in front of the car.  The driver tried his best to avoid it but couldn't - the old cow was killed.
Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what happened. She remained in the car making phone calls to lobbyists and senate aides.
About an  hour later, the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a rather empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, an very expensive Cuban cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick. "What  happened?" asked Hillary.
"Well," the  driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters had their way with me.
"My God,  what did you tell them?" asked Hillary.
The driver  replied:  "I said, I'm Hillary Clinton's driver, and I just killed the old cow!
.