The People News, a free newspaper serving Cleveland Tennessee (TN) and Bradley County Tennessee (Tn).

Of Bradley County Tn.


                            The People News, a free newspaper serving Cleveland and Bradley County Tn.








by Toneeke Henderson

The story of human life.

Constance is the guardian of the Universe. Job description is simple. Watch the planets and their inhabitants,  turn in yearly reports to The Great Mystery Beyond. Assignment: Earth. The world  according to  The Guardian Constance. 

This is a story about a world called earth. Yeah, you know the place, the blue and white sphere that's a fast twirling  lil' spinner who's constantly creating gas in the atmosphere. Can I say gas? 

The planet use to be beautiful from up here and now look at it, it's  becoming

stormy, confused, and worn down. Hot spots are smoking and blowing  up everywhere. There is much rumbling from the outer layer of skies, the grounding has become troubled and shifting in places unseen creating great water havoc upon the inhabitants. 

The earthen ground has become sluggish and sunken in spots causing the earth to return unto the waters that surround the lands. The famine in places has never stopped, the inhabitants have invaded each other's space until there is no clarity, they choose to take a hand full of stars and asteroids and throw them into a circle and select one to try to outshine the others, what a mess there is down there. How can I turn in a  report from here, it's a mess,

Toneeke Henderson

a real mess.

Every year I have to make my report and every year it gets harder to see what is positive. My brother, "Coun'te-nance" used to have a lot of fun with the reports. He recently shared something with me that has become a chilling thought, he said the inhabitants of the Earthen Sphere had a song, a scary lil' song when you think about the lyrics.

It was titled:  "In The year 2525"
(artist: Zager and Evans  )

The lyrics went like  this:
In the year 2525.
If man is still alive.
If woman can survive, they may find.

In the year 3535
Ain't gonna need to tell the truth, tell no lies.
Everything you think, do and say, is in the pill you took today.

In the year 4545
Ain't gonna need your teeth,  won't need your eyes.
You won't find a thing to chew.
Nobody's gonna look at you. 

You see my brother  Coun'te-nance saw what was coming. His

reports stated how many of the inhabitants were living just like that song said. He had become quite disappointed in them and resigned.

Yes indeed, there is something on those Satellite probes that make the light in the talking tubes inside those boxes they all live in. Like little cave animals they hover in their rooms waving a stick at every window, making different  impressions show up. The same thing began to appear, like an epidemic. 

There is a thing called a pill. I am sure another song will be created from those images. Something a bit like this: 

Ohhhh, if ya gotta go pee too much… take a pill, if ya  duck waddles too much… take a pill.

If ya ate too many beans… take a pill, if ya momma made  ya mad… take a pill, if ya look cross eyed in the morning… yeah what…  take a pill. 

Well up here in the Universe where I can see it all. I must say, there is way too many pills. Take the constellation - oh, I mean constipation, they gotta pill for that, then the side effects from that are severe constipation, diarrhea, acid reflux, headache, vomiting, and lockjaw, boy now that is a rough one. While your at it you will have to stay out of the direct sunlight, drink no beer, no alcohol, side effects may also cause shortness of breath, you may run out of charmin with aloe. And if you are prone to allergies you may feel an extreme sneezing pressure which will result in you peeing your pants or worse if the medication worked for constipation. Caution, crossing your legs does not  help.

Then from there the side effects allow your blood pressure to rise, with lethargic sounds from your vocal cords. Left-footedness, loss of  appetite, gas, drowsiness to which I don't think you need to sleep if you take  a pill for

constipation. Know what I  mean.

Then they will give you a pill to counteract the other side effects, this way you can choose which one you want to try to  fix.

Perhaps they have a pill that eliminates the rapid chair exercise called  superbowl syndrome. It helps to relieve that clinching feeling as you know you cannot run the yards for the guy on the talking box called television. You can try but it's gonna happen. And then a pill that says why yell at the man in the  talking box, he can't hear you. I do believe that is a symptom that the  medical corporation will make sure has a cure on a trillion dollar commercial  during your game… wanna make a bet.

Then they have the other pills, you know the ones, that  guy on the commercial keeps grinning ear to ear about. Yeah right, they had to  come out with one for women too, what are these in earthly habitants  thinking.

The pill that can help you grow hair if you're bald or don't like the spray  paint treatment. Why I bet they have one that changes diapers for new parents too. Oh wait, that is a clothes pin.

They flash windows on the talking boxes to tell a inhabitant called your doctor that you want a new kinda pill. I don't think all these inhabitants of the earth are aware that they are guinea pigs, or guinea  birds.

Why don't the inhabitants decide that the song was right and just line them up and  say, "here ya go, take one, any one, because they are gonna need the next pill to fix the other one's bad points. Does this make sense. Might as well have a pill vending machine. How many pills does it take to fix a simple problem that food  and exercise could have fixed.

So now I must turn in my report to The Great Mystery Beyond and I am saddened to think of the changes that will be requested. This is The Guardian  Constance signing off.

Now, for the world to come to a reality check point. I witnessed a man who couldn't afford his medication because his insurance did not cover any of it. His reply to the pharmacist was "What am I suppose to do, just die?", he shook his head and walked away.

Have you noticed how many drug pushers go in the doctor offices to push new samples, they are the ones with the luggage and $500  suits. I think a lot of medication is not needed but some may be warranted useful. Also, there is a growing concern about drug abuse and kick backs. 

What about the people who have had to go back to work  after retirement just to have insurance to afford a drug that will cause you to  take another drug and another and another etc. 

Disclaimer: All the content in this article is my  expressed opinion only and no medical claims are made to the authenticity of any  crazy words here and I didn't take a pill for that. Just used the Whacko Woman book of Common Sense

I better sum this crazy article up, as I am sure my editor needs his rest so he doesn't have to take a sleeping pill which might make him whacko like me. Then the whole  world will be nuts. 

If I were Constance I would make a meteor shower cleanse this earth before it's too late. If I am still around in the year 2525 I will be 569 years old and I am probably not going to care at that point. I have watched  too many people deteriorate on medication and become broke too. What a body should do is eat healthy like our ancestors did. Live like you don't need  anything and you'll survive just fine. They still make Sears and Roebucks.

Life is like that of a bowl of gold fish, nothing special  about any of them but everybody buys them, kinda like the new craze of pills. Oh  Lordy lets pray together… please don't take the Charmin with aloe away. Now  don't ya feel better.

Make sure if you are participating in guardianship that you tell it like it is, not all of us muse's are allowed to tell ya. If you have  pill-a-phobia, rest assured you'll be here in the year 2525 and I'll be  dust.
Grandma says, Jupiter is in charge, please bring the  pinto beans and molasses and we'll all be just fine