Lonely dog (poem)

I wish someone would tell me what it is that I've done wrong,
Why I have to stay here and be left alone so long,
They seemed so glad to have me when I came here as a pup,
There were so many things I did when I was growing up,
They could not wait to train me as companion and a friend,
And told me I would never ever be alone again,
The children said that they'd feed and they'd brush me every day,
They'd play with me and walk me, if I could only stay,
But now the family has no time and I'm shut in the shed,
They do not want me in the house, not even to be fed,
The children never walk me; they always say 'not now',
I wish I could please them. Will someone tell me how?
All I have to give is love - I wish they would explain,
Why they said they wanted me when I'm left alone again

Mating game

Two Indians and a Hillbilly were walking in the woods, all of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave. "Woooo! Woooo! Woooo!" he called into the cave and then he listened very closely until he heard an answer, "Woooo! Woooo! Woooo!" He tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.
The Hillbilly was puzzled and asked the other Indian what that was all about. Was the other Indian crazy or what?
"No," said the Indian. "It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they call 'Woooo! Woooo! Woooo!' into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there is a girl in there waiting to mate."
Just then they saw another cave. The Indian ran up to the opening of the cave, stopped, and hollered, "Woooo! Woooo! Woooo!" Immediately, there was an answer, "Woooo! Woooo! Woooo!" from deep Inside the cave, so He tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.
The Hillbilly wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then he came upon a great big cave. As he looked in, he was amazed at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, "Oh, man! Look at the size of this cave!
It is bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!" He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!". He grinned and closed his eyes in anticipation, and then he heard the answering call, "WOOOO!  WOOOO!  WOOOO!"
With a gleam in his eyes and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran.
The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read..... "NAKED HILLBILLY RUN OVER BY TRAIN"

Just reward

When Osama bin Laden died, he was met at the Pearly Gates by George Washington, who slapped him across the face and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!"
Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed."
James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"
Thomas Jefferson was next, beat Osama with a long cane and snarled, "It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence."
The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe, and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist leader.
As Osama lay bleeding and in pain, an angel appeared.  Bin Laden wept and said, "This is not what you promised me."
The angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in heaven. What did you think I said?''
.