by Joe Kirkpatrick

Well, those of us who live in the city now have one more law to keep up with:  The new garbage ordinance.  As with most laws, there are a lot of  if's, and's and but's, but I will summarize it for you.  Basically, put your garbage in a garbage can and put a lid on it. 

Well, I have a big problem with the new law, as do several other people I spoke with.  When I bought my garbage cans, they all  came with lids.  Now, I have three  big garbage cans, and no lids.  Where did my lids go?  Well, I couldn't have thrown them away, because they were always placed ON TOP OF my garbage cans, and not inside of them.  However, they are now gone - could it have been the garbage men took  them? 

To be honest, I didn't think that much about it when they disappeared, but now that I am required to have  them, that puts a different light on things.  After I read about the new law, I went to Ace, Lowes, and Wal-Mart to get new lids, and guess what - they don't sell just the lids!  So now, I guess the city  wants me to buy all new garbage cans, since in the past, the city garbage men  took our old ones.

Okay, let's look at the reason for the new ordinance:  It is to  prevent dogs from scattering garbage.  Wait a minute - I thought we already had a couple

of laws on the books  concerning that!  The first is a  leash law, and then I believe there is still a state law for "allowing a mischievous dog to run at large."  I would say a dog that scatters garbage could be called "mischievous."  Could it be they have decided it is easier to catch a person putting their garbage out "wrong" than it is a moving dog?  Isn't that kind of like fining the bank for getting robbed when they cannot catch the robber?

I think anyone with common sense will agree if you don't have a lid for your garbage can, there is only two things that could have happened to it:  Either the garbage man took it (isn't stealing a crime still on the  books?), or, the garbage man left it in the street and it was run over (seems  like I saw a law concerning "reckless endangerment" on the books as well.)  So, if you are missing your garbage can lid, and the city now requires you to have one, and we now have deduced the city is responsible for your lid being missing, maybe you should call the city  police and file a report so they can investigate and determine who took your  lid.

Seriously, folks, I'm only kidding - don't call the police.  However, I've owned houses in other cities, and in every one, the CITY furnishes a large heavy duty garbage can with a hinged lid.  If the city wants to require a lid on  the cans, let them furnish one with a made on lid like other cities do.  Secondly, lets use a bit of common sense, and tell the city council something they don't seem to know but  every dog does know:  Your garbage can is standing by the road with lots of good smelly garbage inside.  A large dog knocks it over.  What happens??  THE LID FLIES OFF! Let me say, I do wholeheartedly agree with the required use of cans rather than setting bags of garbage by the  road. 

Well folks, I may be the  first to test the new law, since I don't plan on buying new garbage cans just to get the lids.  Might I be one of those journalists who ends up sitting in jail over my principles?  I can see the headlines now  "Cleveland, Tennessee Journalist on 39th Day  in Jail For Refusing To Put Lid On Garbage  Can"
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