by Jennifer Martin
Medical issues are nothing to laugh at - unless, of course, they happen to be your own. (Okay, I can potentially see laughing at a friend who just found out he or she had something like Restless Leg Syndrome - but do it behind his or her back.)
This semester has been nothing but a medical frenzy for this columnist. Between having a tooth removed and finding out that I am allergic to pretty much all of God's beautiful outdoors, I've had it pretty rough.
Now, the reason I had a tooth removed was not because I'm from the south and have bad teeth. It was actually a tooth without a root - something that happens when some sort of physical trauma occurs while the tooth is still growing.
My dentist literally asked me if I had been in a fist fight when I was a child. I told him, no, my parents had just beaten me. When no laughter escaped his lips, I let him know I was kidding - my parents are patients of his as well.
Also, he told me I grind my teeth at night. A nervous condition that I can't control. I had to purchase a night guard - a mold for your teeth that goes over them at night and prevents you from grinding them and makes you sound like Sylvester the cat.
My husband never takes me seriously when I try to have important conversations at night. I had never had a tooth removed, other than my wisdom teeth, which don't count. This one was different because they actually had to drill a hole in my jaw to make way for the new tooth implant.
The first surgery was fine, but the second time I guess the dentist didn't think that I needed too much Novocain if he was just implanting a temporary tooth, right? It was like pulling teeth! Or erm… not.
Over at the allergist, I learned that I was allergic to everything outside in every season except winter, and every type of mold that exists. Great. Oh, did you know that the Tennessee Valley is the second worst place for allergy sufferers in America?
I also unfortunately found out that I was allergic to cats. Now, I have one cat that I cherish and love more than anything in the world. I refused to move into Carroll Courts and instead opted for an apartment simply because of her.
At heart, I am truly a crazy cat lady. I failed to mention to the allergist that my cat pretty much sleeps on my face every night. And on my laptop when I accidentally leave it up. And in my laundry, especially if it's dark colors.
I will have to get allergy shots every week for a year. I have had to wrap my bed and pillows in these crazy, itchy sheets. And I've had to actually do things like dust and vacuum and keep the bathroom and kitchen spotless… not just once every two months, but twice a week!
Some medical issues are really just hilarious. Maybe the grades and absences you have in class aren't so funny, but when you step back and look at it, just think of it as God letting you know that, in case you weren't already aware, you're not perfect.