I remember every little thing in her life, like when she learned to walk and when she learned to talk, when Bethany and I were her world. She has been our sole responsibility and now I turn her loose in a very dangerous world. And I am afraid. But as God gave her to me, I give her back to Him. I pray he watches over her, and that He reminds her of what is truly important. I know I certainly do not deserve a Father of the Year Award, but I tried to be there and where I failed I hope she forgives me.

When an elderly person dies it does not lessen the impact upon a family, but you are comforted by the fact that they have led a full life. When a young person dies you think of unfulfilled potential. Something that is lost to society, well beyond the loss to the family. Could this person have been a great singer? Perhaps a great artist? Would they have been a great scientist? Could they have been a famous diplomat? An influential teacher? Someone's spouse? A mother or father? We simply can only ponder the potential that was lost and our misfortune. For those of us who survive it may help to understand that life is a process, rather than a destination. I have often wondered if what we have been deprived of on earth, awaits us in heaven. I have to believe that is the case.

There are so many youth who believe they are indestructible who will take careless risks or are simply at the wrong place at the wrong time that will not be with us long to make those contributions. If I could give every graduating youth one bit of advice it would be life is precious, make the most of it. Time will pass you by so quickly. Too many kids have not contemplated the fact that life is not permanent, and it is likely we parents have not considered that for them either.

If we believe children are a gift from God we need to not be afraid to let them know we love them. I know I am closing one chapter in my life with Jennifer expanding her horizons and leaving the nest. We will always share a spiritual and physical connection too. There is no hiding her genetics. We will share favorite memories whenever we look into each others eyes, sometimes it will be a silent acknowledgement, other times it will be a hug or kiss on the cheek. She is part of me. She is part of Bethany. As long as there is breath in my life or breath in her life she will always be my girl, and I know she will make me proud. Tasha Flood will always be a gleam in her mother's eye, and Pam will forever rejoice at the memory of a daughter who brought such joy into this world, as do we all who reflect upon the lives and gifts of children.

It has been said that there is no greater grief than the loss of a child. To all parents who have dealt with the loss of a child I am utterly amazed at your perseverance and ability to continue. You are heroes to so many for your courage. I pray for you a peace and hope that surpasses all human understanding. Thank you for sharing your children with the world. They live on, and they always will.

--J. C. Bowman is a public policy analyst who resides in Tallahassee, Florida.
He can be reached by email at:
flapolicy@hotmail.com. 

Visit his website at:
www.policyexperts.net
.