Well, if kids in class rooms not paying attention was not enough, now we have a new disease for those kids who are now all grown up: "AADD," or "Adult Attention Deficient Disorder." My wife, who is a teacher, has many times said I probably had "ADD" back when I was in school. Now that the commercials about "AADD' have started, she now claims I have it as well. Now, a few months after the "AADD" commercials have been playing, a new commercial by Ely Lily Pharmaceuticals has come out with a medicine to cure me: "Strattera."
Wow! I can finally be cured of this lifelong illness my wife thinks I have with no more "ass whoopin's" like I had to endure when I was younger. After they tell me in the commercial how this drug is going to cure me, a soft-spoken woman with a pleasant musical background tells me that everything might just not be as rosy as I thought and there might be a few side effects. The music is played at a level that you almost can't hear just what those side effects are, so I took my trusty tape recorder, recorded the commercial, and then played it back one sentence at a time so I could write these few side effects down. Why could I just not remember them? BECAUSE I HAVE ADD!
Okay, here are the "few" side effects of "Strattera:"
1. A patient may experience weight loss. (This stuff is sounding better all the time!)
2. In rare cases, Strattera can cause liver damage. (hmm - I'm not a lucky person by nature)
3. Call your doctor if you experience itching. (that's not a big deal - I get poison ivy all the time)
4. Call your doctor if you have dark urine (now that one does kind of worry me)
5. Call your doctor if you have yellow skin or eyes (even if I am Chinese??)
6. Call your doctor if you have upper right-side abdominal tenderness. (what if my tenderness if on the left side??)
7. Call your doctor if you have "unexplained" flu-like symptoms. (I've never had flu-like symptoms that DID explain themselves!)
8. Up set stomach.
9. Nausea or vomiting. (what if I am Bulimic?)
10. Tiredness. (I'm always tired though, I'm ADD and can't sit still!)
12. Mood Swings. (what if it's a woman taking it - isn't that natural for them??)
13. Constipation. (that means not as many bathroom breaks)
14. Problems sleeping. (the way my wife snores, that is already a problem and I'm not even taking it yet)
15. Sexual side effects. (they didn't elaborate as to whether they are good sexual side effects or bad ones!)
If the woman on the commercial spoke slowly and distinctly enough for people to understand what she was saying, would anyone in their right mind EVER want to take this stuff?
A few years ago, a young idealistic doctor friend of mine was starting a medical practice. He was big on holistic healing methods (healing with a minimal use of normal medicines, shots, etc.) I told him he would never make it - that our society wants the "quick fix." He struggled for the first few years, and finally began to prescribe medicine and give shots. After the first year of doing that, he told me I was right, that by giving the "quick fix," his practice had more than doubled in the past year.
Several years ago, I read an article in a health publication which stated "85% of all illness we catch will cure themselves by the use of our own antibodies without additional medication." We are so used to running to the doctor for a "quick fix", many people have a weakened immune system from being over prescribed antibiotics throughout their life. Strattera for my ADD? Taking any drug with that many side effects for a condition or illness that is not life threatening? Maybe on your life, but not on mine!