ad in the Cleveland Banner (or elsewhere) to tell you how to vote you are wasting your time, the same goes for most of the political reporting. If you advertise with some entities you get better media coverage. It is a sad but true testament to the times in which we live. The issues become irrelevant and that is such a shame. Because there are big issues to address and I have decided I am no longer an automatic vote for the most popular, best looking, or one with the most campaign signs.

There are a couple of political races I am unsettled on, the District Attorney's race for example. Neither candidate has impressed me--sorry both Steve's. I want a reason to vote for one man over the other. Both men are long term bureaucrats. I want to see a modernization of the office. I want a giant scoreboard outside of the building showing a conviction rate. By the way, I like shutouts. You know something like: The Public 10, Killers 0 or The Public 8, Child Molesters 0 or The Public 27, Meth Dealers 0. I want to see a cost analysis on the money spent in this office. You had an opportunity to elect someone from the private sector that had an eye on the bottom line and was accustomed to keeping costs to a minimum. He lost. So we must choose between Mr. Bebb and Mr. Crump. Both are nice men from what I hear. Crump's signs are much prettier, but Bebb has his signs in the most rural of locations---he has the Amish vote sown up in Etowah. My question is what will either man do if elected? Probably focus on prosecuting campaign sign thieves, or writers. I am not interested in a nice man in the district attorney's office. I want a mean, vicious person who has the heart of a Grinch. I want someone who is going to prosecute criminals, particularly those who kill, steal and harm children. We need a debate. A house divided cannot stand.

The Public Defender position is another race I am torn on. In theory the best guy for the position Richard Hughes already holds the post. From what I understand he is a fiscal conservative, and runs a tight ship. But as a Law and Order type, should I want the best guy for the post? I would probably be served best by someone who is completely incompetent. I want the guy who

attended a bad law school and passed the bar exam with only the minimum score on his final try. Someone who could not defend his sandwich from a house fly would suit me fine. I worry that Mr. Hughes might be too good, and I want every criminal behind bars. Since Hughes has the only signs I have seen, he wins hands down on that issue. I am worried though, should we let children go trick or treating at someone's house that has a preference for Public Defender? I would love a debate in this race. I want to find out why someone wants to replace another person in this position, do they promise to fight harder to put more criminals back on the street?

There are some attractive candidates this election. There are also a lot of good men and women seeking office. Do yourself a favor and go beyond the superficial. If candidate X is willing to spend $10,000 on campaign signs to beat Candidate Y and get elected, they probably have no qualms about spending your tax dollars on other worthless programs. There are probably some races where the least attractive candidate needs to win, but like mom used to say "beauty is only skin deep, but ugly is to the bone." Finally, do not let the media make you feel like you are wasting your vote on Candidate X or Candidate Y. Vote for the best informed candidate that can champion the issues you deem as vital. Elections are coming up so be an informed voter.

Like Bill Engvall says, I just hate stupid people. They should have to wear signs that just say I'm stupid. That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops, never mind" "I didn't see your sign." See...If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him. We should just take the campaign signs down to the personal level, and people can wear individual signs. But big giant campaign signs taking over the landscape are not winning any favors with me, how about you? See you at the polls. Lose the sign.

--J. C. Bowman is a public policy analyst who resides in Tallahassee, Florida.
He can be reached by email at:
flapolicy@hotmail.com. 

Visit his website at:
www.policyexperts.net
.