|
E-mail confusion
From the United States comes the following story which reinforces the need to get E-mail addresses correct. After being nearly snowbound for two weeks, during the winter, a Seattle man departed for Miami Beach, where he was to meet his wife the next day, at the conclusion of her business trip to Minneapolis.They were looking forward to some warm, pleasant weather and enjoying a break from the children. Unfortunately, there was a mix-up at the Departure Gate and the man was informed he would have to travel on a later flight. He tried to have the decision reversed but was told he had no alternative but to travel on the later flight. On arrival, he found Miami Beach was having a heat wave and the weather was as uncomfortably hot, as Seattle's was cold. The receptionist gave him a message that his wife would arrive later in the day. He could hardly wait to get to the pool. So he hurriedly sent his wife an E-mail message, but because of his haste made an error in the address. As a result, his message arrived at the home of an elderly widow, whose preacher husband had been buried the day before. The grieving widow opened her E-mail, took one look at the monitor, let out an anguished scream and promptly had a heart attack. When her family found her, the following message was still on the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Departed yesterday, as you know. Just now checked in. Some confusion at the gate. Appeal was denied. Received confirmation of your arrival.
Your loving husband.
P.S. Things are not as we thought. You will be surprised how hot it is down here.
The Atheist
An atheist was walking through the woods one day in Alaska, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What a powerful river! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 13-foot Kodiak brown bear beginning to charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him. Somehow, he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes. He looked again and the bear was even closer. His heart pounding in his chest, he tried to run faster yet. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself up, the bear was right over him, reaching for him with its left paw and raising its right paw to strike him."OH MY GOD!"... Time stopped.The bear froze.The forest was silent.Even the river stopped moving ...As a brilliant light shone upon the man, a thunderous voice came from all around... "YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS, TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON'T EXIST AND EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT. DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT? AM I TO COUNT YOU AS A BELIEVER?" Difficult as it was, the atheist looked directly into the light and said, "It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years, but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?" "VERY WELL." Said God. The light went out.The river ran.The sounds of the forest resumed..... and the bear dropped down on his knees, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to receive."
Fire Truck
A fire fighter is polishing a fire truck outside the station when he notices a little girl in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The little girl is wearing a fire fighter's helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and a cat. The fire fighter walks over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," the fire fighter says with admiration. "Thanks," the girl says. The fire fighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied one wagon leash to the dog's collar and one to the cat's tail. "Little Partner," the fire fighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could probably go a lot faster." The little girl pauses for a moment to think, looks at the wagon, at the dog and at the cat, then shyly looks up into the fireman's eyes and says...... "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren, would I?!"
|
|
