Why God Created Eve

God was worried that Adam would become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

God knew that Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out, and would need Eve to make sure he was decent.

God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote control.

God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor, dentist, or haircut appointment by himself.

God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage out by the curb.

God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

God knew Adam had to do his job as the Keeper of the Garden, and would need Eve to remind him where he left his tools.

Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be alone."

And the main reason why God created Eve...

When God finished creating Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!"

Hearing Problem

An elderly retired gentleman had had severe hearing problems for some time. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the man to hear better than he had ever heard before.

One month later, the elderly man went back again to the doctor. The doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." The gentleman said, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

Fishing trip

Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long-johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage, hooked the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the entire day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

She sleepily replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that junk?"

E-mail confusion

From the United States comes the following story which reinforces the need to get E-mail addresses correct. After being nearly snowbound for two weeks, during the winter, a Seattle man departed for Miami Beach, where he was to meet his wife the next day, at the conclusion of her business trip to Minneapolis.They were looking forward to some warm, pleasant weather and enjoying a break from the children. Unfortunately, there was a mix-up at the Departure Gate and the man was informed he would have to travel on a later flight. He tried to have the decision reversed but was told he had no alternative but to travel on the later flight. On arrival, he found Miami Beach was having a heat wave and the weather was as uncomfortably hot, as Seattle's was cold. The receptionist gave him a message that his wife would arrive later in the day. He could hardly wait to get to the pool. So he hurriedly sent his wife an E-mail message, but because of his haste made an error in the address. As a result, his message arrived at the home of an elderly widow, whose preacher husband had been buried the day before. The grieving widow opened her E-mail, took one look at the monitor, let out an anguished scream and promptly had a heart attack. When her family found her, the following message was still on the screen:

Dearest Wife,

Departed yesterday, as you know.  Just now checked in.  Some confusion at the gate. Appeal was denied. Received confirmation of your arrival.

Your loving husband.

P.S. Things are not as we thought. You will be surprised how hot it is down here.