"F" Word

These are the only ten times in history the "F" word has been acceptable for use...
10. "What the freak was that?" -Mayor of Hiroshima, 1945.
9. "Where did all those freaking Indians come from?" -Custer, 1877.
8. "Any freaking idiot could understand that." -Einstein, 1938.
7. "It does so freaking look like her!" -Picasso, 1926.
6. "How the freak did you work that out?" -Pythagoras, 126 BC.
5. "You want WHAT on the freaking ceiling?" -Michelangelo,1566.
4. "Where the freak are we?" -Amelia Earhart, 1937.
3. "Scattered freaking showers.... my foot!" -Noah, 4314 BC.
2. "Aw c'mon. Who the freak is going to find out?" -Bill Clinton, 1999.
And . . . drum roll . . . . .
1. "Geez, I didn't think they'd get this freaking mad." - Osama bin Laden, November, 2001.

Traveler Needs a Room

By the time John pulled into the little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere." he pleaded to the last hotel manager, "Or just a bed, I don't really care where. I'm completely exhausted" "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant," admitted the manager, "and I'm sure he would be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained all week. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you." "No problem," the tired traveler assured him. "I'll take it." The next morning John came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. The manager asked him how he survived. "Never better." John said. The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?" "Nope. I shut him up in no time." "How'd you manage that?" "He was already in bed, snoring away when I came in the room," John said.
"I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, "Good night, beautiful" and he sat up all night watching me."

The Next Stall

A man was traveling north to Alberta. He needed to use the bathroom and so at a rest stop he goes into a stall.

He sits down and was surprised to hear someone in the next stall say, "So how ya doing?" The man gulps and thinks about what he should say and then decides to answer. So he clears his throat and says, "uh....I'm fine." Then the stranger in the next stall says, "So where are you headed?" Again the man, a little nervous answers, "Uh...I'm headin north to Alberta." Then the stranger asked, "So what have you been up to?" Again the man answers, "Not much, I'm actually on a business trip."

The man sat there waiting for another question when finally he heard the stranger in the next stall impatiently say, "Look, I'm going to have to call you back, some idiot in the next stall thinks I'm talking to him."

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