Speaking of shopping, I'm usually pretty good at analyzing the actions of humans, but I missed the boat on this one. I have to credit my good friend Bob George for figuring out "women and shopping." Bob told me one day, "You know, women don't go shopping to spend money - they go shopping to SAVE money." He's right! Instantly, I remembered how every time my wife comes home from shopping, it's always "Look what I bought - everything was on sale, and I saved over 50%!" After Bob enlightened me about this, I went through the women's department at Belk's and found out the management there had already figured out what Bob told me, because virtually EVERYTHING in the women's department was on sale, every day.
I was on the board of a foundation that operated a thrift store, and I learned even more about the shopping habits of women. Did you know about 80% of donations to a thrift store are good used, and sometimes even new, women's clothing? Why? "Well, I wore it to church one time and didn't realize Mary had the same outfit," or, "It was a little tight when I bought it but I thought I would loose weight." Every thrift store in town gets $1000's of women's clothes donated every week. Why do they not get many men's clothing donations? First off, we don't care how many other men have exactly the same outfit we do. In fact, we brag to each other about it. Secondly, if we have something that is comfortable, we don't care what color it is, how out of style it is, because we're going to wear that sucker till it's so threadbare, it's not fit to be donated!
Now, let's get serious and get to the scariest part of women and Halloween. If a woman doesn't want a child to celebrate Halloween because they might pick up a demon, she needs to take a good, long look at her own life. Talk about being possessed by a demon - any man who has lived with any woman for one month or longer knows at some point in the month she is overtaken by a demon named "PMS." Her whole mood and spirit is transformed, and she begins to act in an irrational manner. (even more so than usual) She says and does things that are totally out of character. She is on edge, and bites your head off even if you just say "nice day." Talk about scary and evil!
Where am I going with this? We have a woman who wants to be president. She gets elected. A critical decision concerning declaring war needs to be made. Our woman president happens to be possessed that very moment by the PMS demon.
Think about it - Scary thought, isn't it?
I would like to thank one of my readers last month who enjoyed my article about car care so much she sent me a plate of treats!