A thought to ponder.
With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching $188.00, there is a better way when we get old and feeble. I have already checked on reservations at hotel and motel chains for a combined long-term stay discount and senior discount for an average of $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for:
a.. Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service.
b.. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. And a computer hookup free!
c.. Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc.
d.. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.
e.. They treat you like a customer, not a patient.
f.. $5 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
g.. There is usually a city Bus Stop out front, and seniors ride free. The Handicap Bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).
h.. To meet other nice people, call a Church Bus on Sundays.
i.. For a change of scenery, take the Airport Shuttle Bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise the cash keeps building up.
j.. It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. There are plenty of inns that will take your reservation today. And -- you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.
k.. Want to see Hawaii? They have hotels there too.
l.. TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.
m.. The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are OK! If not, they will call the undertaker or an ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and the hotel will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
n.. And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini vacation. The grand kids can use the pool.
What more can you ask for? Getting old may not be so bad after all.
For those with No children -- this may seem hysterical! For those who already have children past this age -- this is could be hilarious. For those who have children this age -- this is not funny. For those who have children nearing this age - this is a warning. For those who have not yet had children - this is birth control! The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas.
Things I've learned from my Children:
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with rollerblades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old' voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.