The People News, a free newspaper serving Cleveland Tennessee (TN) and Bradley County Tennessee (Tn).

Of Bradley County Tn.

APRIL  2012






Funny Stories and Jokes Puzzles and Quotes

Things You Didn't Know
That You Didn't Know

All the jokes and funny stories in this section were sent to The People News by our readers. If you come across a "funny" or something you feel may be suitable, please e-mail to and we will try to include it in an upcoming issue

Little Johnny Thinks Politics

The kids filed into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive Salesmanship.
Little Sally led off. "I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly. "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civic spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good," said the teacher.
Little Jenny was next. "I sold magazines," she said. "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."
"Very Good, Jenny," said the teacher.
Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath ......
Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said.

"$2,467!" cried the teacher. "What in the world were you selling?"

"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.
"Toothbrushes!" echoed the teacher. "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"
"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand, I gave everybody who walked by a free sample." "They all said the same thing, 'Hey, this tastes like dog poop!'"
Then I would say, "It is dog poop. Wanna buy a Toothbrush? I used the President Obama method of giving you something crappy, dressing it up so it looks good, telling you it's free, and then making you pay to get the bad taste out of your mouth."
Little Johnny got five stars for his efforts. Bless his heart.

The jokes on this page were sent to The People News by our readers.

Spanish Words of the Day

1. *Cheese*
The teacher told Pepito to use the word cheese in a sentence.
Pepito replies, "Maria likes me, but cheese ugly."

2. *Mushroom*
When all my family get in the car, there's not mushroom.

3. *Shoulder*
My fren wants 2 become a citizen, but che didn't know how to read, so I shoulder.

4. * Texas *
When I'm not home, my fren always Texas me, che wonders where I am!

5. *Herpes*
Me and my fren ordered pizza. I got mine piece, then che got herpes.

6. *July*
Ju told me ju were going to tha store, but ju went to see sum guy. July to me! Julyer!

7. *Rectum*
I had 2 cars, but my wife rectum!

8. *Chicken*
I was going to go to the store with my wife, but che said chicken go herself.

9. *Wheelchair*
We only have one enchilada left, but don't worry wheelchair.

10. *Chicken* *wing*
My wife plays the lottery so chicken wing.

11. *Harassment*
My wife caught me in bed with another women. I told her, "Honey, harassment nothen to me."

12. *Body wash*
I want to go to the club, but no body wash my kids.

13. *Budweiser*
That women has a nice body, budweiser face so ugly?

He's Just a Robot, Don't Take Him Seriously....

A guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender. The robot says, "What will you have?"

The guy says, "Martini."

The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?"

The guy says,"168."

The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.

The guy leaves, but he is curious. So he goes back into the bar.

The robot bartender says, "What will you have?"

The guy says, "Martini."

Again, the robot makes a great martini gives it to the man and says, "What's your IQ?"

The guy says, "100."

The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar.

The robot says, "What will you have?"

The guy says, "Martini," and the robot brings him another great martini.

The robot then says, "What's your IQ?"

The guy says, "Uh, about 50."

The robot leans in real close and says, "So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?"