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Hotel Bill
A married couple are traveling by car from Victoria to Prince George. Being seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue, and decided to take a room. But, they only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they checked out four hours later, the desk clerk handed them a bill for $350.00.
The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He told the clerk, although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.00 for four hours. Then the clerk tells him that $350.00 is the "standard rate." He insisted on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to him, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre that were available for them to use.
"But we didn't use them," the husband said.
''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.
The Manager went on to explain that the couple could also have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.
"But we didn't go to any of those shows," the husband said.
"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, the husband replied, "But we didn't use it!"
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the husband gave up and agreed to pay. As he didn't have his check book he asked his wife to write the check. She did and gave it to the Manager.
The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. "But ma'am, this is only made out for $50.00."
''That's correct. I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.
"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.
"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."
Don't mess with senior citizens. They didn't get there by being stupid!
Sleeping with Mommy
Ever notice how a 4 year old's voice is louder than 200 adult voices?
Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2 a.m., I found my two children in bed with my wife, Karey, apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleep in the guest bedroom that night.
The next day, I talked to the children, and explained that it was okay to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but when I was expected home, please don't sleep with Mom that night. They said OK.
After my next trip several weeks later, Karey and the children picked me up in the terminal at the appointed time. Since the plane was late, everyone had come into the terminal to wait for my plane's arrival, along with
hundreds of other folks waiting for their arriving passengers. As I entered the waiting area, my son saw me, and came running shouting, "Hi, Dad! I've got some good news!" As I waved back, I said loudly, "What's the good news?" "Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!" Alex shouted.
The airport became very quiet, as everyone in the waiting area looked at Alex, then turned to me, and then searched the rest of the area to see if they could figure out exactly who his Mom was.
A Job Prospect
An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then 4 year old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began
playing with it.
"Be still, my heart,' thought my friend, 'my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!"
Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"
Easter Dress
At the beginning of a children's sermon, one girl came up to the altar wearing a beautiful dress.
As the children were sitting down around the pastor, he leaned over and said to the girl, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?"
The girl replied almost directly into the pastor's clip-on mike, "Yes, and my Mom says it's such a pain in the [rear], the devil himself couldn't iron this dress."
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