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Burial At Sea
Bubbles and Barbie, two blonde sisters had promised their Uncle, who had been a seafaring gentleman all his life, to bury him at sea when he died. Of course, in due time, he did pass away and the two blondes kept their promise. They set off from Clearwater Beach with their uncle all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded onto their rowboat.
After a while Bubbles says, '"Do you think we're out far enough, Barbie?" Barbie slipped over the side and finding the water only knee deep said, "nope, not yet Bubbles."
So they row a little farther.... Again Bubbles asks Barbie, "Do you think were out far enough now?" Once again Barbie slips over the side and almost immediately says, "No, this will never do, the water is only up to my chest."
So on they row and row and row, and finally Barbie slips over the side and disappears. Quite a bit of time goes by and poor Bubbles is really getting worried when suddenly Barbie breaks the surface, gasping for breath she says, "Okay, it's finally deep enough... Hand me the shovel."
Rude Bus Driver
On this morning a woman and her baby were taking a bus. As she entered the bus the driver says "Wow that is one ugly baby."
The woman deeply hurt just continued on the bus and found a seat next to an elderly man. The man asks, "What's wrong you look mad?" She replied, "I am. That bus driver just insulted me."
"You shouldn't take that from him" the man replied. "He's a public worker and should give you respect. If I was you I would take down his badge number and report him."
"You're right sir I think I will report him." The elderly man says, "You go on up there and get his badge number. I'll hold your monkey for you."
Tax Humor
Ambition in America is still rewarded... with high taxes.
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America is the land of opportunity. Everybody can become a taxpayer.
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It's hard to believe America was founded to avoid high taxation.
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The tax collectors take up so much of your earnings to balance the budget that you just can't budget the balance.
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If Congress can pay farmers not to raise crops, why can't we pay Congress not to raise taxes?
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Congress does some strange things. It puts a high tax on liquor and then raises the other taxes that drive people to drink.
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What this country needs most is a SPCTT - The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Taxpayers.
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The latest income tax form has been greatly simplified. It consists of only three parts:
1. How much did you make last year?
2. How much have you got left?
3. Send amount listed in part 2.
The best things in life are free - plus tax, of course.
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Trying to curb inflation by raising taxes is like giving a drunk another drink to sober him up.
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Save your pennies and the sales tax will take care of them.
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No matter how staggering the taxes, they never fall down.
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Did you ever wonder why they call them "tax returns" when so little of it does?
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