by B.J. Armstrong

Healthy families are characterized by strong, supportive, honest communication. There are ways to be a better mom and dad. You are a role model. Both sons and daughters will shape patterns of life for the rest of their lives based on their family life. Listen to your children. State your expectations for teens. Don't assume anything.

When your child is young and impressionable, guiding them to make healthy and safe choices is wise. However, once the child is a teenager, guiding them to think for themselves and draw their own conclusions is necessary to build healthy self-esteem. Define what is important and ignore what isn't. Do not preach or lecture; ask questions instead. Don't say, "When I was your age I ....." but do say, "I want to know how you see the situation." Above all, listen!

Take time to listen to kids individually. For younger children, sit on the floor, so you can be at eye contact. Share your fears with the teenager without being an alarmist. Encourage friendships that are a good influence; discourage those that aren't. Brainstorm with kids on ways to make a sad friend smile. Always

look for ways to include your children in sharing and being kind to others. As a family, paint an

elderly widow's house together. Learning to carry out responsibility is one of the most important lessons a kid can learn. Life is pretty serious but there's nothing wrong in having some fun. But do it as a family.

Pray with your children. "Prayer is... putting

ourselves in the hands of God." Spoken by a true woman of God... Mother Teresa. Attend church as a family.

Guidance and discipline are lacking today. Create a habit of letting your children know you love them when they wake up, go to sleep, leave, and come home.

Children are like sponges. They absorb our values and perceptions. Healthy families spend a large quantity of time together. They practice love and mutual appreciation.

Establish a healthy authority over your children. In other words ... stick to your guns, but don't shoot yourself in the foot.

We can and must become healthy families. To feel whole and integrated, children need to grow up in a stable community. This means a continuity of values in family, peer groups, religion, and culture, as well as exposure to diversity. Meeting all these needs should be our highest priority. If we fail, we will jeopardize our children's future and the families of future generations.

Step into Spring by becoming a healthy family. Be a good role model. Let proverbs 22:6 be your guide.

"Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it."
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