Who tests your car?  Not your mechanic.  The no-bid contract was handed to some outfit called Envirotest during I'm sure what was a shady midnight meeting-in-a-smoke-filled-room deal typical of the way our state and federal government now conducts its business.  You will have to go to one of four locations to be tested.  Another interesting feature of this ordeal is that the centers only accept cash  for the 10

vehicle.  If it fails they will do one retest for free and if it still fails after that they will have their mechanics help figure out why it won't pass. There are cost waivers for all cars.  In other words, if it is  going to cost more than $250 to get a 1975 Malibu to pass the test they will give you a waiver for 1 year so you can get your tag.  After that, though, it is no-pass no-tag. There are also hardship waivers but the vehicle will have to pass a visual inspection to verify that all the emission equipment is in place (air pump, EGR valve, evap canister, etc.)

For those of you who have worked, hoped and longed  for Big Brother government to finally come to town, congratulations, he is  here.  You can't have an outdoor fire in Hamilton County from April through  October.  Contractors and others who must clear and burn need not panic, though.  You can burn all you want as long as you pay the $200 burning fee per fire.  I guess all those harmful particulates will somehow be filtered  out through all that cash!

To end, let me throw out a couple of quick facts about the automobile.  The exhaust from newer vehicles is incredibly clean and getting cleaner.  For example, painting your house with just 10 gallons of paint releases more hydrocarbons into the atmosphere than driving a  gas-guzzling Ford Expedition for 25,000 miles!  And burning one cord of firewood puts more hydrocarbons in the air than driving that same Expedition for  over 400,000 miles!  It's not the air that is the real issue here,  folks.  It's the control of the politician over the people and the  economy.

JB Griffin is an ASE Certified Master Technician.  He owns and  operates JB's Japanese and American Auto Repair in Evensville, Tennessee.  You may e-mail your car questions to jeepster1515@yahoo.com (mailto:Jeepster1515@yahoo.com). Be sure  to watch him on WDEF News Channel 12 each Thursday morning at 7:30 AM.  You  can have your questions answered live!  Listen to The Saturday Morning  Garage on Saturday mornings from 7-9 on WGOW 102.3 FM where you will have the  opportunity to have more of your questions answered by JB, Steve Ray and Don Britton.